Mixing the classic tales: A new story
for the girls
Despicable Me meets the classical fairy
tales
By: Oriana Pizarro
Scene
1: Agnes, Margo, Edith, Gru.
Gru is getting the girls to
sleep.
Agnes:
Could
you read us a bedtime story?
Gru:
Em,
all right. Would it be Three Little Kittens?
Edith:
No!
I’m already bored with that one.
Gru:
Cinderella?
Margo:
Boring!
Gru:
The
Little Mermaid?
Agnes:
No!
I want something new, something fun!
Edith:
Something
exciting!! Not all princesses and animals…
Gru:
Well,
I don’t know any new stories!
Margo:
Make
one up!
Agnes
and Edith: Yeah!!
Gru:
All
right, but it will not be today then. Good night girls!
Agnes:
But
tomorrow?
Gru:
I
don’t know, good night!
Agnes,
Edith and Margo: Good night!
Scene
2: Gru, Dave the Minion, Stuart the Minion.
Gru:
These
girls are going to drive me crazy! What is wrong with the old stories?
Stuart:
Meh,
boring.
Dave:
We
need new.
Gru:
But
they’re classic!! Oh wait… what if I create a new story with the best elements
from all the stories out there? That’s it!! But how?
Dave:
A
banana?
Stuart:
Machine!!
Gru:
That’s
it!! I will create a machine to steal the best elements from the best classical
fairy tales!!
(3 days later)
Gru:
Here
it is!! My remote controlled Steal-a-story machine!! All you need to do is to
type the name of the story you want to be in and BAM steal the best things.
Dave
and Stuart: Ooooooh
Gru:
Now,
minions, get to work!! I’ll be waiting for you.
Dave:
Yes,
sir, yes!
Gru
leaves.
Stuart:
What
now?
Dave:
Mmm
I don’t know! Banana?
Stuart: Banana! No no no, Cinderella!
They
type Cinderella in the machine, and then leave.
Scene
2: Cinderella, the 2 step sisters, Prince’s guard, minions.
Prince’s
guard: Good morning, ladies. I am by the prince’s orders to fit
this slipper to every girl in the kingdom so we can find his princess.
Stepsister
1:
Good morning, sir. I am so happy that you found my slipper.
Stepsister
2:
It is my slipper. I am the princess you are looking for.
(The
ugly sisters tried to fit into the slipper, but it didn’t fit)
Stepsister
1:
Let me try first!
Stepsister
2:
No. Your feet are much too big. Give it to me!
Prince’s
guard (looking at Cinderella): Let this girl try.
Cinderella:
(surprised)
Are you talking to me?
Stepsister
1:
But that’s only Cinderella.
Stepsister
2:
She didn’t go to the ball. The slipper won’t fit her!
Cinderella:
Well,
how are you so sure about that?
(Cinderella
sat down and tried on the slipper)
Prince’s
guard: It fits!
Cinderella: It
fits!
Stepsister
1 & 2: (surprised) It fits?
Cinderella:
I
told you!
The
minions appear, interrupting the scene.
Stuart
the minion: Eh, hello, excuse me.
He
takes the slipper and runs away
Dave
the minion: Hehe, goodbye!!
Everybody
stares at each other, looking surprised.
Scene
3: The minions
Dave:
Hahahaha
that was fun!
Stuart:
Yeah!
What now?
Dave:
Umm…
Hansel and Gretel!
They
type Hansel and Gretel in the machine, and then leave.
Scene
4: Hansel, Gretel, Witch, minions.
Witch: You
are eating my house. Are you hungry?
Hansel
and Gretel: (jumping in shock and dropping their food)
We’re so sorry.
Hansel: We
didn’t mean to eat your house...
Gretel:
...but we were so hungry.
Witch:
(smiling sweetly) Come inside, dear children.
(Hansel
and Gretel stepped inside the house. Then the old woman locked the door.)
Witch: How
dare you eat my cottage! Now, I will eat you, boy! And you, lazy girl, can get
to work!
Hansel
and Gretel: (scared and starting to cry) No, we didn’t
mean to. We’re sorry.
The
minions appear, interrupting the scene.
Dave
the minion: Eh, hello. We’re not here…
He
takes the house and runs away
Stuart
the minion: (Eating a piece of the house) Hehe, goodbye!!
Everybody
stares at each other, looking surprised.
Scene
5: The minions
Dave:
We
did it!!
Stuart:
(still
eating) Yay! Now… Jack and the Beanstalk!
They
type Jack in the machine, and then leave.
Scene
6: Jack, the Giant, minions
Giant:
(shouting) Fee, fi, fo, fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman ... Be he alive
or be he dead, I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.
Jack:
(whispering) Oh no! It’s a giant! What can I do? Is there any place to hide?
Oh, there is a place.
Jack
hides.
Giant:
(shouting) Fee, fi, fo, fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!
Jack:
(running) Oh no! Time to go!
Jack
ran back to the beanstalk.
Giant:
(yelling) I’ll get you!
The
minions appear, interrupting the scene.
Dave:
Fee,
fi, fo, fum
Stuart:
Hello,
I’m just going to take this…
They
take the beanstalk and leave.
Scene
7: The minions
Stuart:
Fee,
fi, fo, fum hehe fum
Dave:
(laughing)
Hehe, now let’s go to the next one… Puss in boots!
Scene
8: Puss in boots, King.
Puss: (presenting
the rabbit to the King) This
is a gift from the Marquis of Carabas, your Majesty. He wanted you to have
them.
King: (pleased) That is an excellent rabbit. Thank the
Marquis of Carabas for his kindness.
(Puss took other gifts to the palace.)
King:
Who has sent these gifts?
Puss:
All of these gifts are from the Marquis of Carabas.
King: Wow,
how can we thank him? This are marvelous!
Puss: I
can think of a way…
The
minions appear, interrupting the scene.
Stuart: Hello,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
Dave: Don’t
mind us, we just want this…
They take the Puss’s hat and leave. Puss and king
stare at each other, Puss with cat eyes.
Scene 9: The minions
Dave: (wearing
the hat) A-ha we did it!
Stuart: We’re
almost done, let’s go to the next one…
Dave: Snow
White!
They type Snow White and leave.
Scene 10: The Evil Queen dressed as an old lady,
Snow White.
Snow White: It’s
all so beautiful here in the woods!
Queen:
Good morning, beautiful girl. What are you doing here alone?
Snow White: I
just came for a walk.
Queen: Would
you like to share my apple?
Snow White:
It looks delicious! Thank you, kind lady.
(Snow White took a bite and fell down as if dead).
Queen: Finally, she’s dead! Ha,
ha, ha, ha!
The minions interrupt the scene.
Stuart: Mirror,
mirror, on the wall (in a mocking voice).
Queen: What,
who are you? What are you?
Dave: Umm
we just want… papple!!
They take the apple and run away.
Scene 11: The minions
Stuart: I’m
the fairest of them all.
Dave: Back
to work, we are almost done!
Stuart: To
the Three Little Pigs!
They type Three Little Pigs and leave
Scene 12: Pigs 1, 2 & 3, wolf, minions.
First & Second little pigs: Let us in!
Third little pig: What’s the matter with you?
First little pig: The big, bad wolf is chasing us!
Third little pig: Oh my! Come on in. Hurry up!
Second little pig: We are in danger! The wolf is going to eat us all up!
Third little pig: Don’t worry. He can’t get us.
Wolf:
(growling) Let me in, little pig, let me in.
Third little pig: Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin.
Wolf:
Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in!
The minions break in.
Dave: Huff
and puff wooosh.
Stuart: Sorry
to interrupt…
They take the pigs’ house and run away.
Scene 12b (Just for 4th B): Minions
Stuart: What
are we going to do with this?
Dave: Meh,
I don’t know…. Steal more things!
They type How the Grinch stole Christmas and leave.
Scene 13a (Just for 4th B): The Grinch,
Cindy Lou Who, minions.
The Grinch: Grrrrr.
I don’t like Christmas. I don’t like Christmas cake. I don’t like Christmas
trees. I don’t like Christmas presents. I don’t like candy canes. I don’t like
Christmas cards and I don’t like Christmas stockings.
Cindy Lou Who: Santa Claus? Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?
The Grinch: Why
my sweet little tot, there’s a light on this tree that won’t light in one side.
So I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I’ll fix it there. Then I’ll
bring it back here.
Cindy Lou Who: Are you sure you can make it work? I never saw that!
The Grinch: More
than sure!
Cindy Lou Who: Oh, you’re so good Santa Claus! I’m going back to sleep now.
Cindy Lou Who leaves.
The Grinch: Now
I can take all the presents…
The minions break in.
Stuart: But…
presents?
Dave: No
presents?
The Grinch: Who
are you? I don’t like you!
Dave: Nevermind,
we’ll just take this…
They take the tree and leave
Scene 13: The minions
Stuart: Woohoo!!
Dave: Now
for the last one… Peter Pan!!
Scene 14: Peter Pan, Captain Hook, minions.
CAPTAIN HOOK: You are my prisoners! If you want to see her
again, tell Peter Pan to come and get me.
PETER PAN: Captain Hook!
Here I am! Let Wendy go!
Captain Hook: That easily? You would need to fight for it!
Peter Pan: I
have never been more ready!
The Minions appear. Dave pretends to be fighting
Dave: Argh,
fear me.
Stuart: Hello!
We might want to take this…
They grab the swords and leave.
Scene 15: The girls, Gru, Minions.
Agnes: I
am SO EXCITED!!
Margo: Yes,
I’m really eager to see what Gru did for us!
Edith: It’s
going to be awesome
Gru arrives.
Gru: Hello
girls! Here I’ve got your surprise! Do you want to see it?
Agnes, Margo & Edith: Yeah!!
Gru: Well,
be prepared for what my minions did for you!!
Dave and Stuart enter.
Dave: We
present to you…
Stuart: The
best tale ever!
Dave: Lights,
camera, action!!
The characters start appearing
Cinderella: Is this a magical slipper or something?
Stepsister 1: Yeah, where are we?
Stepsister 2: You see, Cinderella, you always ruin things!!! (angry)
Prince’s guard: I’m afraid to tell you I don’t know what is happening.
Hansel: Well,
all right… I think that candy made me sick because I don’t know where we are.
Witch: Hey!!That
is my house!!
Gretel: And
who are these?? I’m not following!!
Hansel:
Better look for a way out!
Cinderella, the Stepsisters, the guard, Hansel,
Gretel and the Witch leave the stage.
Jack: Huh?
Where am I? Well, at least I escaped from the…
Giant: From
the what? What is this, Englishman?
King: Does
this belong to the Marquis of Carabas also?
Puss: Uhh.
Yeah, of course it does! (Unsure)
Jack: Ehh…
I got to go and I suggest you to do the same, Puss and King!
Jack, the Giant, King and Puss leave the stage.
Snow White: Is
this a dream??
Queen: Wait,
why are you talking? Aren’t you dead?
Pig 1: We
escaped from the Wolf!
Pigs 2 & 3: Woohoooo!
Wolf: What
are you celebrating?
Snow White: A
wolf?? Better get out of here!
Pigs: Yep!!
Snow White, the Queen, the pigs and the Wolf exit.
Peter Pan: Ha!
Using my imagination I can escape!
Captain Hook: Escape where?
Peter Pan: I’m
not going to fight you here! Let’s go!
Captain Hook: Hey!! Wait for me!!
Cindy Lou Who: Is this your Workshop, Santa Claus?
The Grinch: Umm…
I don’t know where we are now.
Peter, Captain Hook, Cindy and the Grinch leave.
Stuart and Dave: Ta-dah!!
Edith: Was
that it?
Margo: It
was…. Umm... Different, I guess?
Agnes: I
didn’t get the story!! (Sad)
Gru: Oh,
dear! I was so busy trying to get the best elements from each story that I
forgot to actually write a story!!
I’m so dumb!!
Margo: Well,
Gru, we really appreciate what you did for us!
Agnes: But
you don’t have to create a machine to write a good story!!
Edith: Just
use your imagination!
Margo: I
know! We can write a new story all together.
Stuart and Dave: We can help!
Gru: Thank
you very much girls! I guess there is a reason why those stories are classics!
Let’s start writing our new story!
All the characters: And they lived happily ever after!!
The end
